An Introduction to Complicated Grief

Since 1961, Monti-Rago Funeral Home has helped families to mourn the loss of their loved ones. Monti-Rago Funeral Home provides not only a comforting place to say goodbye, but also grief support services to address the emotional struggles that follow a death.

When someone dies, his or her loved ones naturally grieve the passing. Sadness, tearfulness, longing, and other difficult emotions are all common and expected. For most people, these symptoms become less intense with time, and the person learns to live in the world without the deceased.

In 10 percent to 20 percent of cases, however, feelings of grief not only persist but worsen. Instead of processing the loss and integrating the memories of the deceased person into the present moment, the person experiencing complicated grief will dwell on those memories at the expense of fully living. Life without the deceased feels meaningless, and memories of the past are filled with an irreconcilable yearning.

A person with complicated grief cannot seem to progress beyond these feelings, which remain intense six months after the death and endure for at least six months longer. They may think or talk about the deceased person constantly, often to the degree that it becomes an addiction. In fact, early research into complicated grief shows that reminiscing about the deceased activates the reward centers in the brain that are responsible for addictive behavior.

Because perseverating on the death activates these reward centers, therapeutic interventions are necessary to break the cycle of grief. The appropriate interventions can help the bereaved person to change his or her thought patterns, accept the loss, and find meaning in its resolution.

Teens and How They Grieve

The Monti-Rago Funeral Home of Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, offers not only logistical support for funeral planning but also resources to help clients cope with grief. The Monti-Rago Funeral Home publishes grief education materials for family members of all ages.

Approximately one in every 10 teenagers will experience the death of a significant person before their 18th birthdays, yet adolescent grief is often an invisible issue. Many grieving teens tend to push their feelings away and act as if everything is normal, often because they are feeling pressure to do so from the adults in their lives. They may hear the message that they need to take over the adult role and take care of the family, despite the fact that they are not actually adults and do not have mature emotional coping mechanisms.

This lack of emotional maturity can be particularly difficult when a teen's parent or sibling dies. Adolescents are doing the difficult work of separating emotionally and physically from the family home, and the death of an immediate family member can interrupt this process. Feelings of important emotional work left unfinished is often most intense when the death has been unexpected.

Some teens try to talk these issues out with their friends, but peers are not emotionally ready to provide support for issues this complex. Caring adults must be ready to step up and communicate to the grieving teen that they are there to listen and offer support, whether that be a caring ear or the address of a local grief counseling group.