An Introduction to Complicated Grief

Since 1961, Monti-Rago Funeral Home has helped families to mourn the loss of their loved ones. Monti-Rago Funeral Home provides not only a comforting place to say goodbye, but also grief support services to address the emotional struggles that follow a death.

When someone dies, his or her loved ones naturally grieve the passing. Sadness, tearfulness, longing, and other difficult emotions are all common and expected. For most people, these symptoms become less intense with time, and the person learns to live in the world without the deceased.

In 10 percent to 20 percent of cases, however, feelings of grief not only persist but worsen. Instead of processing the loss and integrating the memories of the deceased person into the present moment, the person experiencing complicated grief will dwell on those memories at the expense of fully living. Life without the deceased feels meaningless, and memories of the past are filled with an irreconcilable yearning.

A person with complicated grief cannot seem to progress beyond these feelings, which remain intense six months after the death and endure for at least six months longer. They may think or talk about the deceased person constantly, often to the degree that it becomes an addiction. In fact, early research into complicated grief shows that reminiscing about the deceased activates the reward centers in the brain that are responsible for addictive behavior.

Because perseverating on the death activates these reward centers, therapeutic interventions are necessary to break the cycle of grief. The appropriate interventions can help the bereaved person to change his or her thought patterns, accept the loss, and find meaning in its resolution.

Teens and How They Grieve

The Monti-Rago Funeral Home of Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, offers not only logistical support for funeral planning but also resources to help clients cope with grief. The Monti-Rago Funeral Home publishes grief education materials for family members of all ages.

Approximately one in every 10 teenagers will experience the death of a significant person before their 18th birthdays, yet adolescent grief is often an invisible issue. Many grieving teens tend to push their feelings away and act as if everything is normal, often because they are feeling pressure to do so from the adults in their lives. They may hear the message that they need to take over the adult role and take care of the family, despite the fact that they are not actually adults and do not have mature emotional coping mechanisms.

This lack of emotional maturity can be particularly difficult when a teen's parent or sibling dies. Adolescents are doing the difficult work of separating emotionally and physically from the family home, and the death of an immediate family member can interrupt this process. Feelings of important emotional work left unfinished is often most intense when the death has been unexpected.

Some teens try to talk these issues out with their friends, but peers are not emotionally ready to provide support for issues this complex. Caring adults must be ready to step up and communicate to the grieving teen that they are there to listen and offer support, whether that be a caring ear or the address of a local grief counseling group.

Steps to Choosing a Casket

For more than 55 years, the Monti-Rago Funeral Home in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania has provided a comfortable place for families to plan a service and say goodbye to a loved one who has passed away. The Monti-Rago Funeral Home maintains a diverse selection of caskets and offers professional advice to help each family select the model that best suits its needs.

Selecting a casket can be a difficult prospect. There are numerous designs and constructions to choose from, and many are quite expensive. Even a basic metal casket can cost close to $1,000, though prices may be significantly higher depending on the material used.

Many families begin the selection process by choosing a material, as this component determines much about the casket's appearance. The family will need not only to decide whether the casket should be metal or wood but also to select the specific type thereof. Wooden options include maple, elm, and ash, while metal caskets may be copper, bronze, or stainless steel, and the choice among these many styles wil depend on both aesthetic and budget.

The family also needs to decide whether the lining should be satin or velvet, and what color that material should be. The next step is to secure a detailed pricing quote and determine whether the desired model is within the family's budget. If so, the last step is to finalize purchase decisions and confirm the casket's availability.

Options for a Final Resting Place

Since 1961, the Monti-Rago Funeral Home has provided families with counseling and support in making final arrangements for loved ones. The Monti-Rago Funeral Home offers advice from licensed funeral directors and maintains a well-stocked showroom of caskets and burial urns.

When a family member dies, the traditional choice for many is burial, often accompanied by a service of some kind. Many families request that the funeral home embalm the body and host a viewing or ceremony, after which the body goes either underground or into a mausoleum. Burial typically requires the purchase of a casket, a plot, and a grave marker, in addition to any required grave-opening fees and cemetery upkeep. 

Many families today are choosing to forego the choice of embalming and viewing in favor of cremation. This option can not only cost up to 90 percent less than burial, but offers a number of options not otherwise possible. Burial is still an option for the cremated remains, though some families instead choose to keep or scatter the ashes.

Other families choose to neither bury nor cremate their loved ones, but instead elect to donate to the body to research or medical care. Some elect to donate organs and tissues, in which case the family can still bury or cremate the remaining elements. Others choose to donate the entire body, which can then serve to educate medical students or further scientific investigations.

A number of museums and exhibits, including the famous Body World exhibit, accept donated human remains to help people understand how the human body works. Donations are also welcome at medical schools across the country, some of which allow donors to specify particular uses or projects. Some even allow families to visit and see how their loved ones' bodies will help others.